Sitting Shiva and Swimming in Cenotes

L-R: author's mother, sister, father, author. Mankayane, Swaziland, 1977

Ek Balam Cenote, Yucatan, August 2016

 

Swimming with the islas at Ek Balam Cenote, August 2016, Yucatan.

Opening to the sky, Ek Balam Cenote, Yucatan, August 2016

Sitting Shiva and Swimming in Cenotes

Last week, my son and I sat shiva with friends.  Not being Jewish, and being an inherent researcher I read up first since I was only passingly familiar with the practice.  What most struck me most was the emphasis – the insistence - on taking time to grieve and to accept the help and comfort of one’s community.  

I was raised to offer and give help when family, friends, and neighbours are, for example, ill or grieving or (best!) welcoming new little ones.  I was taught the importance of attending important life events and providing support whenever I saw a need, and it’s a deep part of my identity. 

Take care.  Show up.  Look for a way to help.  Write a note.  Place a call.  Bake a casserole.  Send flowers.  Make a donation.  Be available.  Give space.  Pay attention. Listen.  Listen.  Listen. 

Yes, listen.  And while listening to those around you, also listen to yourself.  Allow yourself space and time to feel, to grieve, to let feelings and thoughts flow in a safe space to explore them as fully as you can.  Allow others to express their care, and when they offer, tell them what you need.  

My father passed away last spring, and I consciously worked on finding safe spaces and times to let myself process what I was feeling, and what this immense loss meant to myself, our family, our community.  When in the summer we traveled to Mexico, I took the opportunity of getting to swim in cenotes to reflect. 

The Yucatan Peninsula is this giant slab of limestone thrust out of the seabed millennia ago.  The soil is thin, and rain filters down through the porous stone feeding a giant underground network of freshwater rivers, sometimes spilling out into caverns with openings above.  

Sacred to the ancient Maya, explored, mapped, and investigated by archaeologists, local swimming holes and escape from the oppressive summer heat, cenotes are all of this and more.  While most of them are hidden from common view and either difficult or impossible to access from the surface, many cenotes are open and available to everyone. 

And so there I was, scrawling down the slick limestone steps with my family as we visited several cenotes, duly warned by hand-painted signs: “Friend Visitor: Walk Carefully” and “Precautions Tourist Take Care of Your Self” and “If You Can’t Swim Don’t Get in the Water”.  All fair and relevant points.

Once at the water’s surface, it was usually a delicate and completely ungraceful scramble over sharp ledges (aided and encouraged by abuelos and abuelas) and then plunging into deep, cold, and dense water.  

I swam under the water, embracing the coldness (I was getting to swim in a cenote!).  I floated on my back, looking up through the opening to the sky above.  

I thought about life, death, birth, rebirth, memories, dreams, past, present, future, the underworld, earth, and heavens: these big impossible things.  I felt the islas (cave-dwelling fish) nibble my feet.  I watched bats spiral down through the sunlight.  I heard my kids, and everyone else in the cenote, shout and laugh and play. 

I let myself feel.  And think.  And ponder.  And breathe, just breathe.  And look, and listen.  And then I would dive back down, and swim back to the ledge, and let the abuelos help me back out. 

Growing UP and UP

It's all true - while one's offspring may have been voraciously hungry all through childhood, with growth spurts seemingly every other month, once they hit the preteen years it's another level entirely.  It's no longer the days of handing them a few pretzel sticks or apple slices or a biscuit to quietly chew on and be content.  No.  No longer sufficient. That plus the fact that a modicum of self-sufficiency has finally set in (after having first positively then, um, firmly encouraged to GET THEMSELVES A SNACK) along with some basic communication skills -  and the above photo is what results. Please note that this was not the first occurrence of a cereal box and bowl left on the counter - it was just the first time it was accompanied by a note, which was also (fairly) polite (social manners having also showing rare but sparkling appearances). 

I asked my preteen why exactly it was so exciting for him to be taller than me - I was honestly curious.  He said simply that it was a milestone. 

Of course that's not the only milestone that they've surpassed in the past while.  In my struggle to keep up with them, I'm so far behind on my writing schedule.  At this rate, my nephew's birth present of a book about the seaside dedicated to him will be ready by the time he can read it himself.  And my own children, having long since past picture books (in reading ability only - they still enjoy reminiscing/re-reading favourites), are still desperately waiting for a "chapter" book from me.  The format of which is evolving in my head but obviously needs to come out.  And at the rate I'm going, it's going to need to be an actual work of literature to match their reading level by the time I'm done.  It's a growth race - and I'm choosing to embrace this as exciting rather than daunting ;).

Opposite................?

Mankayane, Swaziland, quite some time ago

What was behind the choice of this photo in response to the Sketchbook Project's challenge to "create a combination of opposites"?

What about this photo might illustrate "opposites"? Is it that the two people are different genders? Different ethnicities? Different cultures? Different religions? Wearing different styles of dress?

Art is always open to interpretation, and the main goal of creating art is to provoke thought.

So: is the idea to represent the two subjects as opposite genders? Which would presuppose that gender is exclusive, either one or the other.  But humans don't necessarily fall at all neatly into two opposite genders, according to any definition, whether biological, physical, cognitive, behavioural.  

Now to what degree are the subjects different ethnicities: their skin colour certainly differs, but racial and ethnic identification is a whole lot more nuanced than that.  Are they really opposite ethnically?  

Consider the idea of different cultures - possibly at first glance that's a seemingly logical assumption, but we don't know where these two grew up, what occupations they currently hold, what aspects of lifestyle and perspective and family and friends they share in common - or not.  They're walking across the same town center, a shopping plaza - perhaps both with a similar list of errands; groceries for dinner, stop at the post office, etc.  How opposite culturally can they really be?

Different religions - might surmise so based on appearances, but then again, we have no idea to what beliefs they hold true. Unlikely to be opposite in any deep sense.

On to dress - yes, they do look quite different.  However, they are both wearing traditional clothing of long-standing origin. 

And then there's the simple fact that both subjects are facing away, in the opposite direction, from the photographer. 

"Tailgating" During the Devon Horse Show Carriage Pleasure Drive

A summer afternoon party calls for sparkling beverages! On the left, seltzer with raspberry puree and a dash of Rose's grenadine.  On the right, Prosecco with raspberry puree and St. Germain elderflower liqueur (the ribbon tied on the handle alerted one to which was "with" and which was "without").

Tea sandwiches on pain de mie bread: radish with goat cream cheese and cucumber with salmon mousse.

Cinnamon chip scones.

Roasted red pepper deviled eggs.

Bountiful, beautiful berries!

Playing bean bag toss while waiting for the horses!

Founded in 1896, the Devon Horse Show is an amazing event that attracts competitors, spectators and visitors from all over the world.  It's a cherished part of our community.  The Carriage Pleasure Drive is a beloved tradition that takes place on the opening Sunday of the Show, wherein antique horses-driven carriages of all sorts and sizes go for a leisurely ride along the winding, wooded residential roads around Devon.  Drivers, passengers and groomsmen all dress the part, from tip to toe!

One can hear the next carriage coming before it can be seen, and everyone rushes to the side of the road to watch.

Carriages are pulled by one to four horses (or ponies!).

It's so much fun to see the different carriages, horses, and outfits!

The weather this year was perfect - a verified rarity during Horse Show days!

It takes much preparation beforehand to ready the carriages and horses.

We are fortunate to live nearby such a wonderful and unique event.

Everyone waves and cheers as each carriage goes by.

Of course, hats are also a big part of tradition at the Horse Show, and one day is in fact devoted to a Ladies Hat Contest.

I would wish to ride in a carriage with an awning! Even though the weather was unusually mild and dry, the sun was still strong!

A perfect day for a Sunday drive.

Watching and listening to the rhythm of the horses' steps was fascinating.

Our party voted these four ponies the absolute most adorable of the day!

This four-in-hand pulled a wagon advertising Professor Odell's Ointments.  Must find out the story behind that!

Growing a Book

A time and place apart

Industriously working on my next book, since babies keep on growing and don't wait for us to be ready to make their arrival.  Stay put for now though, dear Poppy, and wait to come out when you're big enough to play with your cousins!

Thinking about babies having their own minds and being in general unpredictable aligns well with my realization (once again - see first post) that this book cannot be imposed upon or written like another book but instead can only be allowed to flow along its own course. 

Or perhaps trickle would be more fitting. 

Take Flight With studioWorks Publishing - Hole 4 at the Easttown Open!

Over the turtle pond...............

...............under the flying books.................

..........to the beach...........

.........lanterns light the way to the green!

Come see studioWorks at the Easttown Open - this Saturday, April 5th!

Chippie, the Easttown Open mascot!

I will be taking a break this weekend from working on my next book (due out this summer!) to prepare decorations for the 4th hole.  Come see how it all turns out, plus have an absolutely fun time playing 18 holes of mini golf in the Easttown Library! There's also contests, concessions, prizes, and amazing raffle baskets.  The afternoon is family friendly, and the evening is a grown-up party! See www.easttownlibrary.org for more information.